Recently I have read several posts to the effect of “why I won’t be writing publicly about horrible things happening in the world.”

I am in full support of people not writing publicly about every single horrible thing that is happening in the world, because of the following:

  1. It is impossible for us each to be well-informed before presenting a reasoned opinion on every topic of import. And if we aren’t at least attempting to be well-informed when wading into the conversation, what are we doing? (I make a distinction between “well-informed” and “emotionally lathered up” because it takes no time at all to be the latter. And that’s what my journals are for.)
  2. Whenever we post anything, we should ask ourselves: Who is this for, and why? Is this for me, proving to myself and others that I care about this issue? Is this to educate someone else about what I know about this issue? Is this because I consider myself an expert on the topic and want to engage with other experts?
  3. Writing about an issue and effecting change on the issue are not always the same thing. In fact, sometimes we can fool ourselves into having done the most meaningful action we can take about the issue because we’ve opined on it.

But the topic that I see underneath the surface of “why I won’t be writing about this publicly” is how opting out of uncomfortable conversations limits our growth as individuals and as members of a community and society.

Everyone gets to have opinions, well-reasoned or not, popular or not, interesting or not, and we get to have them in public. (Unless we live in a totalitarian state.)

Similarly, other people get to engage with those opinions in ways that they choose, ways we might not enjoy. Not every response is a +1 or 👏🏻, nor should it be. I would argue that one of the bases of a strong community is our ability to civilly disagree with one another.

Drawing the external line of “I can’t share this publicly, and I feel censored” is one way of addressing our anxiety of existing in spaces that do not expect civil disagreement (and have community guidelines that enforce it).

Another way is to draw an internal line, such as, “I will share this opinion, and if others disagree, I’ll do my best to listen and make my own decision about whether I’ll change my position.” And then work on our self-regulation skills.

Because when we share what we think and feel in public, but refuse to engage with any different thoughts or views, we are not engaging in a community or in society. We’re engaging in an echo chamber. We’re giving ourselves permission not to hear or consider other people because their views might not coincide with ours.

And when we avoid possible confrontation because it’s messy or uncomfortable, we also avoid the opportunity for growth, to hear someone else, really consider what they’re saying, and maybe change our minds.

Why participate in a community, if not to expand our experiences of what we know and can do together?