By the middle of last month I had written almost 20,000 words of a disjointed speculative fiction manuscript before my momentum guttered and died. We don’t say things like “I lost NaNoWriMo,” but I certainly feel a loss whenever I do not complete what I set out to do.
November 30th turned into December 1st, and that day brought the start of Holidailies, in which online diarists and bloggers attempt to write a post each day in December. I have no idea if I am up to this challenge, or if my momentum is any less susceptible to outside forces merely by turning a calendar page, but here I am with you now.
I’ll follow the lead of my dear sharky friend and try to sum up 2018. Another friend recently asked how I was doing and I spewed a bunch of words, then immediately regretted not answering with a simple, “Okay, how’s by you?”
I am okay. I have been less okay and I have been more okay than I am right now, but still: I am okay. And the fact that I am okay is my shining accomplishment this year.
2018 was a year of treading the water of okay which irritates me because I want always to be moving forward. There were some highlights:
- In April, FunkyPlaid and I had a stupendous holiday in Scotland, chock full of adventures and visits with dear friends. It is hard for me to write about this without tearing up a bit because it was that good.
- FunkyPlaid and I made more time to play board games with our friends, and to extend ourselves socially a bit more. It has been more challenging than I thought it would be to make new friends here in Portland, and a few friendships I expected to be strengthened by geographic proximity … weren’t. But we are trying.
- In May, I graduated from a nine-month leadership program in the city where I work, and I was named Employee of the Month for the city in September.
Zooming out a bit, I don’t even have words for the daily impact of living in this deeply divided and excruciatingly atavistic country, and if I did have the words, would I be brave (or foolish) enough to share them here, where I run the risk of my family and friends being punished simply because I expressed an opinion that some online mob doesn’t like?
So I’ll wage my quiet war against ignorance, keep my head down, and be okay. That’s what I’ve got right now. I hope you’ve got more.
Writing from: a quiet study in Portland, Oregon. Listening to: “You Should See Me in a Crown” by Billie Eilish.