cygnoir.net

cygnoir.net

I suck at celebrating.

My friend Hawk said this to me just now, and it is true. I am in my pajamas, drinking tea and pondering sleep, even though I have nowhere to go tomorrow morning and potentially nowhere to go in a morning-time for a long time.

The rest of the creatures in the house are already asleep. One creature in particular is feeling very sick. My dear Zen has lost her appetite and is incredibly subdued. She drinks water from time to time, and eats just a little, then leaves her dish and wanders off to rest fitfully. Tomorrow may hold a trip to the dreaded vet if she does not feel better in the morning.

My last day was just about how I expected it to be, but with much better food.

My farewell party spread.

Most of the food pictured above was gluten-free! I was suitably impressed.

There were goodbyes and presents and hugs and awkward moments and there was even a suitably bizarre patron interaction to send me off in style.

It will take a while for me to believe it is over. I thought about taking a photo of my badge before I turned it in or of my office before I turned out the lights, but I do not know what I would see when I looked at those pictures in the future. Certainly not the same ambivalence I feel now; that will wash away soon enough.

It would have been easier to be raucous and drunk tonight.

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.

∞