When your relationship is getting ruined we know how to help you. We will come into your house while you are at the grocery store, buying whatever the hell cereal you want to buy, now that there are no other arbitrary preferences in the house, and we will rearrange everything. We will confuse your weakened heart, so there is no longer a focus on the ever-present crumbling, the noise of a tow-truck always idling around the corner.
We know that it is not about words of wisdom. Curse words are more apt but still not good enough. The words you want to collect and trash are the words you think you will never say again: “honey” or “baby” or “sorry” “I missed you” or “I know I was wrong” or “what do you want me to say”
We know how to help you. We have machines that will help. If you press your forehead against the cool metal and look right into here we can see into your brain and therefore your heart. We can see which baggage to zap, which intriguing trait to enhance. We know things you do not know, can never know, without us.
All it takes is three easy payments of your distrust your despair your disbelief.
— Halsted Mencotti Bernard
(Thanks to my junk email folder for the first line.)