cygnoir.net

cygnoir.net

voyeur

I think what I like best about The Sims 2 is how it enables me to be a voyeur, even on virtual lives. One of the default families is reminiscent of The Lone Gunmen from “The X-Files”, so I have spent most of my time playing them. I don’t exactly know what’s so compelling about the idea of watching other people live their lives. I remember being quite entertained by the thought of having my own webcam for a few years. At the time, it was intriguing because there weren’t many people doing it, and I always thought: how interesting would it be if someone halfway around the world who wanted to make a connection, if only visual, could do so?

Perhaps this is a side-effect of growing up around actors, people who are more than willing, for whatever reason, to show you exactly what they are doing whenever you’d like to see. I can’t possibly reconcile this fascination with my own introversion, but there it is. I am compelled to read personal websites for this reason, as well: I want to know what it is that drives you, that drives anyone at all, to action or inaction, to joy or to fear. This part of the year always is the soft underbelly; tears seem foremost, and for what reason? I can’t figure it all out by myself. Whoever could?

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.

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