cygnoir.net

cygnoir.net

learning my lesson

This is just one of my few favorite photos from Friday’s excursion to the Conservatory of Flowers. chocolate and vanilla

I learned a very important lesson on Friday. Thursday night, when I went to bed, I decided that Friday would be a terrific day, the best day of my life yet.

It was.

Good lesson, yes? It was so easy to understand once I got it; it’s proving more difficult to put into practice, but I persist. I am still searching for the exact quote that the MSG gave me on Friday night that touched me so deeply, but I found this one, by Kahlil Gibran:

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”
Another lesson I learned is that it is very easy for me to love and not very easy for me to show love. I’m still processing that, eagerly searching for a good solution so that I don’t fall back into old patterns of paranoid withdrawal. The paranoid withdrawal becomes quickly destructive because once I’m in that tailspin, I know just how pointless and lame it is, but I can’t seem to break out of it because I’m focused on how pointless and lame it is. So. Very. Frustrating.

Anyway, in cheerier news, my dad and stepmom arrive this Wednesday for a short visit. I’m looking forward to touring around the Bay Area with them. It’s always interesting and refreshing to see the same places with new eyes.

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.

∞