ten things

There are a lot of “ten things about me” memes going around these days, and I want to play, too. So here are ten things about me you could have probably guessed:

  1. I always try to smash gnats by clapping them. It is a very satisfying game to me. But I always feel bad when I actually smash one.
  2. I did everything later than I was “supposed to”: crawl, teethe, talk, stand, swim, ride a bike, blow bubbles in chewing gum, whistle, drink alcohol, lose my virginity … etcetera. The only thing I did early, I did very early: learn to read. Now I love to teach others to read.
  3. I was fairly healthy until my mid-twenties, when I developed both insomnia and migraines. I have undergone many tests to determine the cause and treatment of each; so far, everyone just says “relax more”.
  4. The thought of breaking my mother’s back was such a disturbing one that I still avoid stepping on pavement cracks.
  5. There is one joke in the world that never fails to make me laugh, even if I am furious. But only one.
  6. Sometimes my dreams are so vivid that upon waking I have a hard time distinguishing which reality is which.
  7. I often daydream about being an accomplished singer or dancer, things I thought I would certainly become before I discovered my talent in each was negligible.
  8. People getting impatient for bus or subway or elevator doors to open make me laugh. Often out loud. Sometimes I have to bite my lip so hard to stifle it.
  9. When I see a couple entering an apartment building, I always get a little thrill, thinking about what they are going to do once they get upstairs, be it kiss or fight or make love or cook dinner. I just like the thought of something intimate happening between them.
  10. Pigeon sounds soothe me. I also like their generic pigeony shape along with the multitude of color combinations and, in San Francisco, appendage mutilations. I look forward to seeing pigeons, even if it is against the law to feed them now.
Now your turn!

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.