cygnoir.net

cygnoir.net

my own personal fear factor

my handmade curtainI made a curtain.

I made a curtain!

Yes, I’m feeling just a little bit proud of myself at the moment.

It is not a perfect curtain. It is not even a nice curtain. But it is a curtain that fits my window that will hang on a curtain rod and block light from entering my room.

The class wasn’t too bad. First of all, I was listening to Equinox (my iPod) as I walked to class and “Dragostea din Tei” came on unexpectedly. It made me laugh. A lot. So there I am, laughing and walking down Market, and how am I expected to continue a sense of trepidation when I’m in a gorgeous place listening to the numa numa? I survived three and a half years in Birmingham, Alabama; I could certainly handle this. So I took a deep breath, walked inside, and remembered all the internal and external pep talks I’ve had on this subject. Enjoy yourself. Ask for help when you need it. You will make mistakes, so don’t waste energy trying to avoid making them.

And it worked. I carefully followed the instructions, reading and re-reading them, and I asked for help. I now can chalk a straight line, even if I can’t sew one. I now can backtack, even though I forgot to once and that seam will probably unravel if I breathe on it. And, most importantly, I now have a curtain.

We won’t discuss the second naked window in my room, no we will not.

One of my goals for 2005 is to try one new thing each month. The purpose of this is twofold. First of all, I need to get out of my comfort zone more often, because it helps me learn and grow. Secondly, I need to stop avoiding failure because it prevents me from trying new things in fear I won’t immediately succeed. Avoidance, to me, is merely a complex form of laziness, and I’m trying to eradicate it from my life.

So what should I do next month? I have a few ideas, but I’m curious to hear your suggestions. Please keep in mind that my new adventure should be legal and non-fatal. Well, at least, not intentionally fatal. My known limitations are:

  • I am claustrophobic, but I will consider things that involve confronting it.
  • I love to swim but I am not good at it yet because I just learned how. Factor this into any water-related suggestions.
  • I really, really, really do not like to pee outside.
  • I don’t have a ton of extra cash to spend on equipment, supplies, costumes, sterile bandages, or protective eyewear.
  • I don’t get naked around people who aren’t the MSG.
As an incentive, the person who submits the winning suggestion will receive a personally-crafted mix CD from me. I will be accepting suggestions as comments to this entry until Tuesday, 1 February. Bring it!

(LiveJournal users, please note that you must leave comments on cygnoir.net, not on LiveJournal, for me to see them.)

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.

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