maybe next week

“Bill, it’s a gorgeous day, barely forty degrees in this foggy old city of San Francisco. I am psyching up for what will surely prove to be the morning to end all mornings.”

“Dick, I thought afternoon was the morning to end to all mornings.”

“Ha ha, Bill. You’re a card. No, really, today, right here, history will be made. We’re going to watch Halsted turn her track record around and make good on all those early-season promises to get to the ferry on time.”

“Dick, that’s just not possible. First of all, I’m looking at flannel sheets, a velvet-covered down comforter, and polarfleece pajamas. The conditions are against her. Second, you saw the pre-game insomnia. She’s working with about four hours of sleep. Third, it’s Friday. It’s Friday, Dick. Three strikes, you’re out.”

“Bill, don’t be so cynical! She can do it. I know she can. She just needs a little… and there’s the alarm!”

“Nothing, no movement yet, this is not good. This is not good, Dick.”

“Give it time! She never moves before the third bell! Okay, there we go, we’ve got movement. WE’VE GOT MOVEMENT!”

“Dick, she just hit the snooze.”

“NO! I don’t believe it! There’s a nine-minute penalty right there. Nine minutes. We can’t afford nine minutes, Bill!”

“I know, Dick. I know. All we can hope for is the cat.”

“That’s right. The cat! Where’s the cat? Wait… wait… I SEE IT! THE CAT IS IN PLAY, BILL, I REPEAT: THE CAT IS IN PLAY!”

“The cat is in play and approaching the toes. I repeat, toes are being approached. It looks like the cat is setting up a combination toe-bite, bladder-poke. Yes, Dick, that’s just what it looks like. First the bite– and it’s denied with a leg jerk. Cat down. Cat down and actually somewhere on the other side of the room. That’s gotta hurt. But wait, the cat’s up and… wait, what’s going on? It’s a mess down there. I think… yes, I think it’s leaping, the cat is leaping– it’s a clean pounce to Bladderville, Dick.”

“She’s up! Halsted is UP AND MOVING! Great combination play by the cat, Bill. Truly impressive. That cat is 57-0 this season and you can really see why, with ingenuity like that. Halsted is now up and moving towards the bathroom and I’m exhausted. I think I need a little nap, Bill.”

“We’re about ready to take our first break, Dick. Knock yourself out. I’m going to pour myself another margarita and pray for death.”

“What was that, Bill?”

“Nothing, Dick. Just nap.”

“Okay, Bill, don’t mind if I… wait… wait… what’s going on down there? Halsted is coming back to the bedroom; I repeat: BACK TO THE BEDROOM. No, this is all wrong!”

“That’s right, Dick. She’s back, the cat has wandered off, and it’s anyone’s game again. And … o no, god no, she’s staring at one of her bookcases. Please don’t let this be another October Reorganization.”

“No, no, I don’t think that’s what she’s staring at, Bill… I can’t see for sure, but I think she’s shuffling slowly towards the… no, I can’t look! I just can’t! Is it what I think it is?”

“I think it is, Dick. It’s the jewelry box. She’s going to polish sterling silver jewelry she doesn’t wear for twelve minutes, twelve minutes we don’t have. Twelve minutes SHE NEEDS to get showered, dressed, and out the door so she can make the 7:15 ferry. This is painful, Dick. I can’t watch.”


“Yes, Dick?”

“Maybe next week?”

“Sure, Dick. Sure.”

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.