except with guns

I like waking up in the middle of the night. It’s fun, and also, it’s quiet.

The City overwhelmed me on Thursday. It began with another visit from the San Francisco Police Department, again because of the upstairs neighbors, who turned on their music so loud that the bass was shaking elements of our flat … and then left for two hours, just before midnight. Dumbasses. The police officers were quite nice, but I was a little shaken by their presence in our space, mostly because of those big dark things strapped to their hips, like half-asleep animals, barely caged and still untamed.

Then in the evening, as I was walking to the MSG’s before attending the Zero7 concert at the Fillmore, I saw a woman pull a gun on her boyfriend. A 9mm, in fact. I haven’t seen one of those pulled on another person in quite a while. She was screaming at him to get the fuck off her porch from a double-parked car, and then she rummaged around in her glovebox, pulled out the 9, and started screaming with it pointed at him. You’d better believe he got his sorry ass off the porch. Note to self: do not walk west on Oak, even in daylight.

It was just all too much, having police officers in my kitchen in the wee hours and then witnessing domestic violence in the evening. I know it’s the City, and it’s different from living in the ‘burbs, but my adjustment period isn’t over yet, and everything gets a little too big and bright at times. It’s all sharp edges and I’m still so soft.

Anyway, we didn’t make it to the concert. It sold out before we got tickets, so we went to Japantown and had hot sake and glorious sushi and talked about so much. After not very long, the stress of the day wore off and we were making each other laugh. As the MSG got out of the cab in front of his house, I kissed him goodnight and he said, “See you tomorrow.” As the cab pulled away, I thought: yes, he will see me tomorrow. Tomorrow I will still live in the City I love, and it will surprise me again. It will keep me on my toes, it will challenge me to be awake and aware, and it will show me beautiful things if I only pay attention.

Just like he does.

Except, you know, with guns.

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.