this is not a test

Did you know that every year fire kills more Americans than all natural disasters combined?

So why were there four “dead” patrons in our library fire drill today? They just couldn’t be bothered to evacuate, instead choosing to ignore the scream of the alarm in favor of one … last … email.

If you are lucky enough to have advanced warning of a fire, you have precious few moments to get yourself to safety before you die. Remember what death is? It’s like logging off, only forever. And if you think fire drills are a joke, then you tell me: do you have an evacuation plan for your home? Do you know where the emergency exits are where you work?

This is not a test; this is your real life.

And when someone is putting her own real life at risk in an attempt to help you survive, shut up and get your ass out of the building. If only so you might live to email another day.

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.