cygnoir.net

cygnoir.net

every now and then i fall apart

Nothing to say except to ask you all for your good thoughts for my dad. As some of you know, he underwent cardiac valve replacement surgery plus a triple bypass two years ago this April. He has been doing great since then. A few months ago, he began to experience some arrhythmia, and went in for further tests. It turns out that a bit of blood might be pooling in one of the chambers of his heart, caused by minor leakage by the artificial valve. Tomorrow he goes in for a cardiac catheterization, and we’ll know more. The “more” could be that he needs a stent, or more surgery, or … or I don’t know. I just don’t know. I haven’t wanted to talk about it because I don’t want it to be real. I don’t want it to be here. Dad called me earlier and he’s just so fucking brave. I am the proudest daughter in the world, and the most terrified.

If you are near to your dad, please hug him right now. And if you have someone to hold you tonight, let them. I’m missing both, and everyone feels so far away.

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.

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