cygnoir.net

cygnoir.net

and all i got was this lousy t-shirt

Just woke up from an extremely vivid nightmare in which Ergazork and I were running for our lives from aliens taking over the planet. Whenever I am incapacitated by migraines – which is infrequently these days – these nightmares are part of the recovery. I still don’t know why.

It began with us standing on a street-corner, talking at length about something in the middle of the night. We were even writing things down and drawing diagrams, I can’t remember of what. Suddenly a man in a green Jeep-ish vehicle drove past and idled at the stop sign for much longer than just an actual stop. He stared at us and was very creepy. We tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t say anything, just sat there and stared. We got uncomfortable so I picked up my mobile phone and made to call the cops. He drove off.

Ergazork and I decided it was best to leave for home. We were walking home through this alley near a small creek – the town was much like the layout of the small town in Pennsylvania where I grew up – and noticed that there was a lot of traffic for the middle of the night. People in mostly large, expensive cars and SUVs were driving past on the street that ran parallel to the alley, all in the same direction. For some reason, I could see into the vehicles, and they were filled with food and suitcases. No one looked alarmed in the least.

We reached the house, which turned out to be mine and not his, and I asked if he would stay over because I was terrified. He said he would, so we locked up the house as best we could, but the Jeep guy returned and tried to break in, so we fled. (This part is pretty fuzzy.)

Ergazork was staying at a motel on the outskirts of town, so we went there. At that point, some guy joined us, but I don’t know why or who he was, so I’ll call him Frank. He was tall and blond, and sort of looked like Brina’s friend JP. The motel was next to a small airport with a lot of little planes that had the capability of taking off without runways, like helicopters, just straight up. They were shaped like some military plane I don’t remember the name of. (I am almost positive this part is my brain cross-referencing the Top Gun joke of Friday night.) We went into the motel lobby and that was the last I saw of Ergazork.

Frank and I went to the diner part of the motel to use the bathroom. Another guy, played by some very brutish-looking Latino actor I can never remember the name of, joined us there. We shall call him Sam. This is where it changes from my POV to movie-style. Sam and Frank went into the diner bathroom, which was more like a sauna, and Sam disappeared into the inner, more bathroom-y part. Two aliens entered right afterwards and got in the sauna; they looked perfectly human except with metal backbones that poked through the skin. They started talking to Frank like he was another alien, getting ready for the takeover of earth. Frank had to prove to them that he was, and lucky for him, he had some makeshift metal backbone installed to fool aliens! (Dream-logic.) So he got into the sauna, but the real aliens didn’t trust him, so they poured some weird watery substance over his metal backbone that was supposed to hurt him a lot. He faked the pain and passing out, and they left. Sam came out and discovered Frank “passed out” under the water and he freaked out, but Frank was okay.

Outside the motel, small planes were packing up with human-looking aliens and taking off. I suppose it was then when I realized the Earth would be destroyed, or at least all humans eradicated, and that sent me into a panic.

This is where I was very glad that, after years of dreamwork, I am able to wake myself up out of nightmares, because suddenly it became a lucid dream and I counted down from 10 to get myself out of it. I have built this mechanism into my dreamlife because I often become so involved in it that upon waking I have a hard time distinguishing what is real and what isn’t. That period of confusion can last for a period of five to sixty minutes, and can be incredibly distressing. So now, if my heart rate is elevated past a certain point, I become aware that I am “just dreaming” and am able to make a decision to wake myself or remain in the nightmare, and control where it goes from there. This works excellently for nightmares in which I am panicking, and not so well for those that are disturbing on other, more subtle levels.

Often I choose to remain in nightmares because their subjects are important issues I am working out. My mechanism is not fail-safe, by any means; medication impairs it severely. If I take cough syrup, migraine medication, or 5-HTP, I’m usually in for the ride. I was very glad to have had the choice to wake myself up from this one when I did, since I took migraine medication all day, and have to take it again now that the pain is returning. Although I enjoyed the bolstered mood and clarity of dreams that 5-HTP provided me while I was taking it, I became too concerned about its ill side-effects to continue. I can’t imagine what this nightmare would have been like if I had been fighting against both 5-HTP and migraine medication.

My subconscious is obsessed with the alien-induced end of the world scenario. I really need to stop reading those wacked-out conspiracy theory books. The ultimate joke, however, was waking up and realizing that I am wearing a nightshirt that reads:

somebody who loves me
was abducted by
ALIENS
In Roswell, New Mexico
and all i got was this lousy t-shirt

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