Friday Fuck-All

Whee, over here now. And absolutely no theme tying these together. Enjoy.

  1. You successfully infiltrate the Borg, and the first thing you decide to do is change their slogan. Finish the famous words: “Resistance is futile. You will be _____________.”
  2. A major cable network is soliciting ideas for a new drama series, appearing every Sunday night for a whole hour. In 25 words or less, pitch it!
  3. If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of Harrison Ford dressed only in strategically-placed aluminum foil worth?
  4. You and I are lounging in a gondola in Venice on a warm summer evening. The gondolier has a classically-trained voice, and is all too eager to sing whatever we request. As you slip a wad of Euros into his hand, you ask him to sing …
  5. If you could eradicate one fast food chain from the earth, which one would it be, and why?

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.