It must be Wednesday, day of humps; My student workers all have mumps. The printer’s down, the network too: Someone filled them full of glue. No one has returned their books, Instead they give me dirty looks. No food no drink no dogs no cats, Computer use is not for chats! I kicked the Porn Boy out already. He may come back – but I’ll be ready With cannisters of pepper spray: The time for nice is not today! My latte spilled, with extra foam. Just stamp me late and send me home.