get off the bus

These past few weeks have really taken a toll on my sanity and my energy. Today was calm, work-wise, but not in my personal life. I ended a friendship today, one that both parties had pushed past the breaking point many, many times, one that should have died a natural death years ago: the quiet kind, the death of not calling, not writing, but thinking benignly of one another and remembering the times we have shared with great fondness.

Society doesn’t tell you about this sort of break-up, about the atrophy of friendship muscles, about saying goodbye in the good way. It’s a shame, too. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a fucking jerk right now if it did.

saturn comes back around to show you everything lets you choose what you will not see and then drags you down like a stone or lifts you up again spits you out like a child light and innocent

My almost-ex-employee has been civil to me, which is a pleasant change from the usual. His last day is the 25th. I’ve already received 5 résumés for his old position: two of them from applicants in India, two of them from over-qualified Americans, and one of them from someone who seems to be under the impression that driving a bus is a lot like working in a library. (It’s not, aside from enjoying contact with the public.) Perhaps when I return, I’ll have more choices to look through.

But why am I talking about returning when I haven’t even left yet? There is still packing and preparation to be done, but I am so excited to go, to see friends, to recharge, and to be able to unite two wonderful people in one wonderful bond. And did I mention hanging out with one of my best friends? Yep, Druid and I are bunking together for the weekend. We’re going to have a blast! Prepare yourself for many amusing stories and photos. I may post from the road, but if not … see you Monday.

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.