how you say it

I’m really good with the clichÈs. Watch:

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

See? I’m good.

Yeah, so, I’m newly compulsive about (another compulsion? damn) turning on the news as soon as I get out of the shower in the morning. I catch “Daybreak” on KRON 4. I like Daybreak because it’s on KRON 4, and, well, I absolutely love saying KRON 4. No, god no, it’s not Kay Ar Oh En; it’s KRON. Like TRON. Say it with me now. That’s right. Now add the 4. It’s just a damn fine thing to say.

Anyway, where were we. Ah yes. Daybreak. I like it because Brian Hackney is a nice anchorperson, I mean genuinely nice. His delivery is nice, and he even seems sad when he reports sad things. Even better, his co-anchor Susan Whatsherface smacks him down just about every morning. She talks over his lead-ins, then makes snarky comments about his abilities. And he just takes it. It’s crazy. Brian is on the edge. I think he’s going to lose it one day and just start crying and throwing papers and maybe even his pencil at Susan. Maybe she’ll get a little paper-cut on her nose and sue him. It’ll be brutal.

So yesterday on Daybreak they showed live footage of Tony Blair being all butch and I admit, I wished for just a few moments that we had Mister Blair instead of Mister Bush. If we’re going to talk retribution, war, and all those ugly things, we might as well have someone who at least appears to be smart and capable doing the talking.

Even if it’s still ugly underneath.

Which reminds me: no matter how neat a name Nuvaring is, it’s still yet another uncomfortable, crazy contraption women have to stick up their hoohoos so they don’t get pregnant. Spend some billions of dollars on this, not bombs. Please. Operation Cranky Hoohoo.

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I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.