cygnoir.net

cygnoir.net

fast-forward

you’d think, during a four-day weekend, i could find some time to write. you’d think that!

my last day of work was very strange. i don’t know how else to put it. i came in, like always, only this time with my big black backpack, and put my CDs and books in it, the only things i had really “decorated” my alcove with. then i stared blankly at the clock. 07:32. wow, this is going to be a long day.

i finished compiling my notes for the new librarian, and exported all my outlook contacts and appointments for her so she wouldn’t be starting from scratch like i was, and so she’d know which lunch presentations were already on the calendar. i organized some more things on the refiling cart and tried to leave everything in some semblance of order. before i knew it, it was lunchtime …

lunesse and i had our hot dogs at mustard’s last stand, finally! plus, david joined us, which was a nice bonus. lunesse wrote about the day and also took some pictures, although no pictures could convey just how good those hot dogs were. we got the ‘dogs and went inside luny’s building because it was so windy and cold outside, and after eating we decided to get fresh, gooey chocolate chunk cookies from specialty’s for dessert. we ate our cookies inside and watched the puppy at the flower-stand across the alley. i remembered when sarah and i went to that flower-stand some months earlier and created a bouquet for the big boss. the puppy was a little smaller then; time has passed so quickly and so slowly, too.

after lunch, it was time to train the new librarian. she seems likeable and competent, and i have high hopes that she will be much less discouraged by the whole situation than i was. we spent a few hours going over the basics and at the end of the day, helped sarah finish up a project. i always enjoyed lending sarah a hand when she needed it most, and i will miss our little conversations over staplers, three-hole punchers, deadlines.

the new librarian left about 16:30, leaving me a half-hour to clean up, say goodbye, and split. i dumped my notebook and day-planner in my backpack, cleaned out my saved email, and started making the rounds, saying goodbye to a few folks. most everyone had come into the library at some point after my departure was announced on wednesday, to say congratulations and goodbye, so i just had a few people to see. as i was standing up front, waiting for sarah one last time, j.h. walked up and said goodbye, hugging me too. that startled me, because i had always thought that although i worked with him frequently, i had been sort of forgettable. he seemed genuinely upset that i was leaving, which touched me a little. i wished him pre-congratulations on his wedding and he asked me to email. all of this was happening in such a slow, surreal way that i muddled through it, confused yet functional.

sarah and i said goodbye. the last time at work. it was weird, and sad, and i rushed off to my bus stop so i wouldn’t think about it too much. i got home and chad and i jumped in the car and met our friends at the brewery in san rafael, toasted dan’s newly unemployed status, and played some pool.

the rest of my weekend has been restful. on friday i enjoyed a fascinating two-hour phone call with a new friend. sarah and i had an exceptionally fun day together on saturday, cruising downtown san rafael and seeing “memento” (time #2 for me, and i still want to see it again). i’ve also spent lots of quality time with chad, relaxing, putting some distance between me and the old job and emotionally approaching the new job. i’m nervous, yes, but it’s the nervousness of a fresh start, new place, and a tangible step towards my career goals. i tingle with anticipation about work again. this is gorgeous.

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.

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