cygnoir.net

cygnoir.net

dear abby

i am the lunching queen. monday was one of the admin’s birthday lunch; tuesday was the weekly lunch presentation (mm, nylon carpet fiber); wednesday was lunch with an ex-coworker now-friend; today is lunch with darius and alison. then next week, lunesse and i will go on our hot dog adventure, and i might even get a last-day-lunch with sarah. i also have to remember to have one last hurrah at the mechanics’ institute café.

i don’t think many people here know i’m leaving yet. a few do, and i’ve been forced to tell some product reps that i won’t be here much longer because they’re calling to schedule appointments for two weeks from now. it’s such a strange feeling, this employment limbo. i carry my offer letter from dominican around in my purse, i think to make sure it’s real, while i still commute to the city, falling asleep on the bus, just like always.

my dad and stepmom will be visiting us over the third weekend in may. my dad and i are very close, and i’m really looking forward to the chance to spend time with him and show him around the bay area. plus we always have fascinating conversations about sociology and linguistics and religion, and we make each other laugh. i have a great dad.

i kind of yelled at a friend last night. well, not kind of: i yelled at a friend last night. it’s not my business to report, but the short of it is that i don’t like how this friend says his ex-girlfriend treats him, and i finally got fed up with all of it last night as he described it for the nth time. my yelling was out of frustration instead of anger. there’s nothing i can do to help him because all of my advice seems not to be what he wants to do, and yet i can’t see any other solution. i basically said that i didn’t want to hear about it anymore, and while part of me feels bad – i always want to be approachable, and for friends to be able to confide in me should they want to – listening doesn’t seem to be helping and so it seems pointless to rehash it. is that selfish? perhaps. i honestly don’t know. i don’t like telling people what to do with their lives but at the same time, if i am asked for advice, i put a lot of thought into what i say and how i say it, and i necessarily expect it to be applied in some way. that’s probably an unfair expectation and i should just stop dispensing advice altogether. i’m much too emotionally invested in all of it. putting myself in my friend’s shoes, perhaps all he wanted was to vent to me, and not to hear advice at all … well, then, he shouldn’t have asked for it. but it’s over now and i know better than to give it again.

human interaction. i’m still stumped.

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I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.

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