heart notes

i do not get attached to fragrances for many reasons, the main one being that i prefer most men’s cologne to women’s perfume. a friend of mine associates something called “rain musk” with me and i was so flattered to be remembered in a scent that i wore it out, and consequently got sick of it. i’ve gone through about a billion different smells since then, never settling on anything except sandalwood, because i just loved how it smelled so clean and yet dark. wearing it alone, though, overwhelmed my nose and probably others’ as well. blah.

i associate periods of my life strongly with scents i’ve worn, even after i have forgotten their names. recently, i’ve wriggled a bit, half-in and half-out of a phase, wanting a new smell to go with it. maybe it was nudged by the onset of spring, or maybe it is a real tool for me, a marker to bump myself into thinking of my life in a new, positive way.

so, you know, i’ve been looking. testing. sniffing. and, yesterday, finding.

“Davidoff Cool Water Woman is a celebration of femininity, pleasure, and one of nature’s purest elements — water. This fresh aquatic fragrance contains top notes of citrus, quince, blackcurrant, pineapple, and honeydew, heart notes of rose, jasmine, muguet, lotus blossom, and waterlily, and base notes of orris, vetiver, sandalwood, peach, mulberry, and amber.”

i knew it had to have sandalwood in it.

this morning i woke up with that leftover scent on my wrists and tears on my face. i had an incredible dream, although it was unremarkable at first thought, the more i peel back its myriad layers, the more meaning i find, and i’m absolutely thrilled at the meaning there.

i scribbled it all down someplace else, but i’d like to share one line of it with you, here: “Sometimes, it is enough to ask yourself, not anyone else, for what you need. It might be granted.”

thank you, self. i can finally move on.

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I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.