halsted the grouch

did you know that despite the tone of the last entry i actually had a good weekend? no? okay. time to clear that up.

by thursday evening i was feeling awfully low because of a miscommunication with a friend that had prevented us from meeting up in the city, although the phone call with my dad that night was somewhat cheering. i bragged to him on the phone that i hadn’t gotten sick in so long, that i must have found some secret to staying healthy (remarkable for me, since i routinely get sick every few months).

friday morning i had the unique experience of feeling the alarm go off in my throat. my throat was so inflamed and sore that i swear it buzzed when my alarm buzzed. i tried to go “ahem” or whatever sound that is (more like an “arrrrruuhruhrrhghg” i think) and nothing happened. as i swung upright and out of bed, my head started to buzz too. karma rang my bell, all right.

after some woozy shuffling around the bedroom and bathroom, which served only to disturb the great lake of phlegm crouched in my sinuses, i decided to call in sick. i feel guilty just typing “call in sick” but i knew i couldn’t manage it. i fell asleep and was out soundly for the next six hours; the rest of the daylight hours were spent indulging in some self-flagellation in the form of listening to “pretty hate machine” by nine inch nails, an album that reminds me generally of a bad time in my life and specifically of a bad person in it.

i am really, really good at wallowing in self-pity. i try to limit myself these days because it’s somewhat addictive.

something odd and surprising happened in chad’s department at work friday afternoon, and he came home a bit late and told me, and we just stared at each other blankly and were cranky and worried and chad needed to get his mind off it so he went to join in a local ad&d game while i stayed home, feeling sick but less sorry for myself.

saturday improved minutely. i was going to see the free screening of “the pledge” with chad and chris in the morning but couldn’t dredge up the energy or health to do so. they went off and i managed to become human by the time they returned, ripping the plot to shreds. the three of us went to the bank, had lunch together, washed the car, picked up a new cardboard scratcher for zen (she loved her last one to itty-bits), dropped by the new apartment that chris wants to move into (fingers are still crossed for his credit check), and finally returned home. whew. the crankiness hadn’t abated and i was ready for some down time, just sitting and doing nothing, but that’s not exactly something you can ask other people to do. “hey, let’s all sit around and not talk or watch television or do anything at all. just sit. yeah, it’ll be great.” so chad and chris ended up over at chris’ and i ended up cranky at home alone again.

note: i’m not complaining. when i am like that, i really don’t want people immediately around me. harassing people on IRC is totally acceptable, however.

somewhere in all of this crank i managed to make plans to go over to lunesse and atomicboy’s for dinner on sunday night, so i knew i had to recover at least some of my cheerful attitude by then. sunday afternoon was great for that: i spent a solid two hours on a writing project. well, not a writing project … the writing project. a really good friend of mine and i are collaborating on this project and we made some major headway during our two-hour chat. i felt so good about what we had worked on afterwards that my cranky mood all but dissipated.

dinner at the lunesse/atomicboy household was just lovely. chad and i arrived at 18:30 and chatted over wine and bread (the latter to dip in oil and balsamic vinegar with … good stuff i forgot, plus white pepper). there were also three darling kitties to pet, so you know i was happy! both the salad and the lasagne were terrific; i wish i knew more about food or i’d detail what was in everything. maybe you can read lunesse’s journal later, heh. after dinner we watched “the simpsons” and “malcolm in the middle” and talked and had coffee and chocolate cheesecake for dessert. the dessert was our contribution; i was planning on making something to bring but decided that all my old standards were boring or inappropriate and that i shouldn’t inflict a new recipe on new friends. despite my culinary reticence, chad and i really enjoyed ourselves. we had to leave fairly early because of work today, but it still salvaged what could have been a totally cranky weekend.

but now i’m cranky again, dammit.

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