now what

one of the drawbacks of reading a book subtitled “how to get what you really want” is that you may realize the job you have, that you have convinced yourself is the one you want, isn’t.

i think i want to be a full-fledged librarian, in an already-established library, preferably public because that’s more in line with my beliefs about freedom of information. i am now faced with the knowledge that i’m going to have to get my master’s in library science. since we can’t afford to live on just one income, and since we can’t afford to pay for me to go to grad school, this is going to mean that i continue to work full-time and that i get a scholarship, or some sort of grant or loan that can be deferred way into the future.

so many conditions.

it’s times like this that i am unbearably jealous of people who knew what they wanted to do before their freshman years of college. i’m also trying very hard not to feel sorry for myself, because i do have a good job, it’s just not my ideal one.

and now i realize that i can have my ideal one. it’s just going to take a bit of work.

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