kabalarians break it down for me

the kabalarians’ analysis on my name bears repeating:

Your name of Halsted gives you a clever mind, okay, i’ll go along with that. good business judgment, <cough> a sense of responsibility, <more coughing> and an appreciation of the finer things of life. … like the mushroom knock-knock joke, and sucking nutella straight from the jar. You are serious-minded and not inclined to make light of things even in little ways, and definitely not in my online journal. and in your younger years you had more mature interests than others your age. definitely true. i was the only fifth grader in my school who had a last will and testament. Home and family mean a great deal to you and it is natural that you should desire the security of a peaceful, settled home environment where you can enjoy the companionship of family and friends. as opposed to desiring what, a concentration camp? Whatever you set out to accomplish you do your very best to complete in accordance with what you consider to be right. <choke> In the home you assume your responsibilities capably, well, i haven’t ruined a load of laundry in at least three years. i also sometimes load the dishwasher. sometimes even with dishes. having the self-confidence to form your own opinions and make your own decisions. i have a husband to do that for me. Others can rely on you; once you have given your word you will do your utmost to fulfill a responsibility. unless i have something better to do, like watch “star trek: voyager” reruns. However, there is a tendency to be a little too independent in your thinking and it is difficult for you to accept the help of others when you should. right. i also never accept gifts i don’t deserve, except for doing that all the time. Due to your strong sense of responsibility, you could experience worry and mental turmoil through assuming more responsibility than you should. worry? mental turmoil? you must be thinking of someone else. Friction could arise through others feeling that you were interfering with their rights and privileges, even though you are only trying to help. what are these people talking about? others have no rights or privileges.

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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.