when all else fails

read the pitt stop. this isn’t the best excerpt, but it’s my favorite today, from “the one where i almost make a wish come true”:

i was tokin' on a blunt, watching "cops" and laughing my ass off when the phone rang. now, i have about a dozen people on my payroll that are paid to do nothing but answer my phone. obviously, they were nowhere to be found as the phone kept ringing. i mentally fired every one of them as i picked up the phone. it was dave, one of my agents. "brad babe, i just got a call from the make-a-wish foundation. there's a little girl in iowa with terminal cancer that wants to meet you before she dies." i have a soft spot for kids with cancer. but i cannot fucking stand kids from iowa. thus, my dilemma.
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I acknowledge that I live and work on stolen Cowlitz, Clackamas, Atfalati, and Kalapuya land.
I give respect and reverence to those who came before me.